Before New Years

Hello Everyone-
Back at work today. had yesterday off- my farrier came. He could only do 9 of my horses. Out of 14. For the most part, they were good for him. They can get so impatient! But Dewey is fast and i like that. The last farrier I had was a wonderful guy and did well doing the hooves, but he took very long. He is only in his upper 20's and has some health/back issues. Took him 6 hours to do the horses, while Dewey took only about 2 hours. I just cant stand with naughty horses for 6 hours anymore. Was getting to be the worst part of having horses! If the farrier goes fast, then the horses are much better for standing away from their buddies for 10 or so minutes. The new boy, Antar did very well for him. He had to have his front shoes off. I dont do shoes unless I have to. And Antar is not being ridden, so he really doesnt need them. Antar is a great boy. Wish i could find him a person to love. Wish i could find more homes for most of my horses! But it is not the case at least for now. I have been in a 'funk' for the last couple of months. Trying to decide if i should continue this program. Most days, its wonderful and i have great fun with the horses. Then I find myself getting depressed about the calls and emails of all of the horses that i cannot help. I try to give owners options, but sometimes they dont work. Sometimes they do. I try to concentrate on that. I sometimes wake up during the night and my thoughts go towards my horses. Are they ok? Are they warm? did someone go through a fence? 99% of the time, when i do get up in the morning, they are just staring at me waiting for me to feed them. I guess winters are really a source of my thoughts. Its cold, its windy, its raining like it did on Xmas day! Then it gets cold. I know horses can take this. they have shelter and most times, they are out in the elements. They are not stupid, but they sometimes look miserable! But i told my farrier yesterday, its the humans who are more concerned then they are. They know how to keep warm and to survive. They have for hundreds of years. Harley, still plugging along with his big blanket. Eating more and more hay which is good. He gets mad when i adjust his blanket and try to feel his ribs to make sure he is still ok and either sustaining his weight or anything different. Cheyenne gets upset when I feed grain to Kobb in the mornings and she doesnt get any. Missy now needing a blanket in the winter after I saw her shivering one morning. Wondering how long that i can keep my rescue and horses. Wondering if the economy will get better and i can find homes. Planning on the big fund raiser for June. Lookign for another roommate. Well I can at least say that part of my life is certainly not boring. Thinking to myself, well its Saturday, i can sleep in! For about 1/2 hour because i know my horses are looking at their clocks wondering where mom is. A couple of days it will be 2010. Another year. Wondering where my new love is?! Going to lose some of my weight, get healthy to keep going and delving into the horses that bring me so much joy. What would i do without them? Complain more?? Oh yes, then you would be so sick of me! Have a great and safe New Years eve!