Have to fess up

Hey Everyone,

Today i am writing a very difficult blog. I have written out an email to the horse contacts and still i havent sent it on yet. I thought i would write here first. A few people do know this, but not everyone. You see- I am going to have to move this summer. I just cant afford the mortgage anymore. I got divorced almost 2 years ago. Wow, almost 2 years, doesnt seem that long, but then again it does. I try to not be bitter, but i guess i still am. My ex and i bought this land together. We built this house, then the garage and then the small barn and then the big barn. We decided to have horses. We decided we would save some horses. then my ex left me. Having horses is expensive enough for 2 incomes let alone one! I have sold everything i can think, gotten roommates, had two jobs and in the end, i just cant afford my home. Well I can afford it and the horses, but if an extra bill comes up, then i cant afford to pay it. Or do payments and then another bill gets put off. Just getting tired of borrowing money, trying to pay it back etc. So i have decided to put my home up for sale and find a cheaper place to go with the animals. Will it be impossible? I dont think so! Will it be difficult? oh yes, it will! Taking 10+ horses with me? Oh yes, but it for the better good. I dont have to worry about money (hopefully). Oh, the horses always came first. i have come second. And i dont mind that. That will always be true to some degree. Animals cant take care of themselves, we can. So i am very upset to leave my home that I have lived in for 17 years, but my motto is that where ever i live will be home as long as i have my animals with me. So anyhow, i am looking now for a home that i can move to in the summer. A home with 3+ acres that has shelters and fencing or one that i can put up fences and shelters! I look at this as a new beginning. i have to. I do still get emotional about it and will for some time, but am also looking forward to moving and starting new! Maybe I can get over my bitterness towards my ex-husband. I dont like to feel this way towards anyone. I can go anywhere, but my horses cant and i am responsible for them regardless who is in my life. So i am looking forward to a new home, a new beginning, the Midwest Horse Fair, my talks there and talking to the Girl Scouts on May 1st. I may have to postpone the fundraiser, but that is ok. I want to make sure its the best fundraiser that i can plan! I do plan on continuing my rescue program. I want to start gelding programs and euthanisia programs for people who cannot afford these things. I want to get so big that i have corporate sponsors!~ I want the legislature to ban all slaughter to horses. That means no horses can even go over the border to Canada and Mexico to get slaughtered there. I want big buildings with beautiful stalls, indoor and outdoor arena's, trainers, groomers and many, many horses to live their lives out with me for the rest of their lives! I want alot of things. oh yes, can you also add a cute 40 something year old man who loves horses (and me of course) as much as I do! And I want to have dear friends who love and support me always.
So- there---- I spilled. It makes me feel better. Thank you all!